Even the best leaders can miss this—and it’s not due to poor strategy. In this candid conversation, neuroscience-based leadership expert Claire Hayek sits down with Gabriela Embon, creator of the Power Couple Method, to reveal a blind spot that silently derails even high-performing leaders: the emotional disconnect between who they are and how they lead. You’ll learn how Gabriela’s unique coaching method, originally built for personal relationships, holds powerful insights for executive leaders—especially those navigating growth, burnout, and reinvention. This episode is a must-listen for leaders ready to trade performance anxiety for aligned influence and connection.
TOPICS COVERED:
Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro to Gabriela Embon + why emotional blind spots matter
02:15 – The difference between being strategic vs. being aligned
07:30 – How the Power Couple Method helps leaders reconnect to self
12:42 – Signs you’re emotionally disconnected in leadership
15:18 – Why leaders often lose meaning during high performance
19:05 – Neuroscience behind meaning, resonance, and behavior
24:16 – Realignment rituals: grounding, presence, intention
27:40 – Final reflections from Gabriela: the shift from “doing” to “being”
What You'll Learn:
Mentioned in this episode:
Follow Claire on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/clairehayek/
Follow Gabriela on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gabrielaembon/
Website: https://gabrielaembon.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/gabriela.embon
Offer to download the prologue of my book at: www.becomingapowercouple.net
🎓 Want to train your brain for resilience and high performance?
Join Claire’s free Mental Fitness Masterclass here:👉 https://go.clairehayek.com/mental-fitness-masterclass
📩 For free resources, upcoming masterclasses, or to join our next live webinar—click here:👉 https://linktr.ee/clairehayek
📢 Subscribe to The NeuroLeadership Edge Podcast for brain-based strategies to lead with clarity, courage, and impact.
The One Blind Spot That’s Holding Leaders Back with Gabriela Embon
Claire Hayek: [00:00:00] Most leaders think their biggest challenge is time, talent, or strategy, but the truth is what's holding them back isn't tactical at all. It's something deeper, invisible, and wired right into the brain. Today we're unpacking the blind spot that separates high performance from real fulfillment, and we're doing it with someone who's lifted on both sides of the equation.
Claire Hayek: Welcome to the NeuroLeadership Edge Brain Science for bold leaders ready to master their mind and their brain, and own their voice. I'm your host, Claire Hayek, NeuroLeadership expert ex engineer, TEDx speaker, lifelong musician and founder of Mind, soul Purpose team building what you learned today. Uh, you're gonna, [00:01:00] basically, we're gonna unpack the blind spot, even high performing leaders, miss.
How your relationships and your brain directly impact your leadership, whoever thought about that, right? And what it really takes to integrate success and connection without burning out. Today I'm joined by Gabriela Ban, a former chemical engineer turned life and relationship coach. She's an author and founder of the Coaching Academy.
After years at Intel in a high performance corporate career, she realized that true success isn't just what you build at work. It's what you build at home. She now helps high achievers design careers that feel aligned and relationships that feel alive, and she does that using her Power Couple method and life engineering framework to help people basically stop choosing between success and connection and start creating both.
[00:02:00] Gabriela, welcome to the show. Welcome to the NeuroLeadership Edge. I'm really excited to have you. Thank you, Claire, for having me. Excited to be here. Of course, I'm, I mean, I'm, I've been waiting for this one, so you and I obviously share this funny background. I call it funny because it's, it's quite interesting.
We are both engineers who ended up teaching people how to lead, not how to calculate.
Let's start by you walking me through that pivot. What woke you up to the fact that success in logic wasn't enough?
Gabriela Embon: You could call it midlife crisis, you could call it when that's not a very sexy word. You could call it a graduation. I prefer to call it a graduation. But where are we graduating from? Let's be very clear. In our twenties, we are really wired to prove that we are smart enough to get through some form of education.
And then after [00:03:00] that. Comes the second motivator, which is to prove that we can be successful. We can provide for ourselves and be self-sustained, impactful human beings in today's society, and usually where after achievement. But once you accomplish that achievement, you might find yourself, not everybody, but you might find yourself in a place where you say.
How can I follow the formula? I accomplish what I thought I needed to be happy, but I'm not. And that's when I realized that I have gone after achievement, but not necessarily fulfillment.
So in simple words, I had this sense of dissatisfaction from life or emptiness because yes, I had accomplished, but I was not in alignment with what makes me happy.
And I'm not a person. If there's something I can say about myself with conviction, I'm not a person that [00:04:00] compromises on lack of happiness or you frustration. That's very good. Yeah. I have very low tolerance to frustration. That is real, not frustration because we couldn't go, to the restaurant. We, we decided to go.
I'm not talking about that frustration when you know you're not in the right place or with the right person. And I knew I wasn't in the right place.
Mm-hmm. But I think you have to get there to realize that, and that happens to many leaders, right? They climb their own ladder, but only when you get to the top of that ladder you realize this was the wrong one.
Claire Hayek: That's really interesting. This is, I think a lot of listeners and people watching us right now. I can relate to this. I think a lot of us, I mean you said it, you know, midlife crisis and in a way we can call it that, we can, whatever you want to call it, but it's more common than not. But so what, what's going on?
So [00:05:00] we are we're connected probably we're, you know, we're successful professionally, but disconnected personally. And I think that's, in my opinion, and I think. That's what you're saying is that we're so disconnected with what we want and our passions, what we want in our life, but what's, what's actually going on beneath all that?
What, what's happening? So we're successful, but we're unhappy. What's, let's unpack this a bit more.
Gabriela Embon: So my judgment, Saba right, kicks in and goes, what's wrong with you? You have every reason to be happy. Mm-hmm. You have a good job. You. You have a good lifestyle, you have a happy marriage. You have the family.
What's wrong with you? Mm-hmm. And then it says the following, you wanna hear this? It says You are doomed for dissatisfaction. You are never satisfied. So it went from judgment into self blame.
That's what my inner saboteur was telling me. I was lucky to start questioning and get really [00:06:00] curious about what's going on within myself.
To have my sage brain say it's not your dom for dissatisfaction. You are just not in there in alignment. And explore that concept of alignment. I like the alignment
Claire Hayek: keyword. Let's unpack this further. So how do we, uh, align, how do I know you have a trademarked actually method the power couple method.
You talk a lot about, sabotaging yourself and passion and being disconnected and how to get aligned. Tell me how, explain to me your work. Explain to me how you help high achievers, how you help leaders, you know, your clients, um, deal with all this.
Gabriela Embon: Yes, so I, I'll give you a little bit of context.
I, I believe that we should not compromise on two key elements of our adult life. One is our career and what we do for a living, [00:07:00] and how we make money in the way we serve our impact. And the other one is our primary relationship, our romantic relationship.
Okay. So the process of not compromising and clarifying and course correcting, clarifying and course correcting, if we think from an engineering perspective is measure what you're creating, get a feedback, and then adjust accordingly.
Course correct. So it's a constant process of clarifying what I want and course correct. That gets me every time more in alignment to what actually feels, yes, this is right. So I had to clarify to myself, what is that I love to do? What is, what are my passions? What's my genius on? And what do I wanna do when I'm not trying to prove that I'm successful or smart or achieve to prove something, but when my soul says, this is what brings me joy, right?
So fir the first step was to clarify [00:08:00] that to myself and to give myself permission. To do that and to believe that it's possible for me to make money doing what I love to do because I only had that limiting belief that work is hard and you have to sacrifice for it. So it was a shift in mindset.
And then the process of clarifying, where's the intersection between my genius zone or uniquability, my passions and what has meaning for me. Because I can tell you that when I work as an engineer I train. Besides doing process engineering in the lithography department, I was also responsible for training technicians, and I was very good at that, often praised for that, and I love doing that.
It gave me the most amount of reward. Hmm. It didn't feel like work at all, so I could recognize that my genius is in teaching. In fact, when I was 15, I had my first business, which was a tutoring business. I had 11 students. [00:09:00] But I was teaching the wrong thing in the sense that whatever I was teaching when I was in the engineer was not what I'm passionate about.
Claire Hayek: Right.
Gabriela Embon: Was not what I believe in. I didn't start with my why. Simon is laughing and behind our back. So Simon Sinek. So I had to clarify all that. Go through that whole searching process. And then give myself permission to start to do a pilot. To start, start and course correct. It's a very dynamic process, but one thing I know is that the clarity is in the doing.
So the moment I clarify that, this is what I wanna do, it was a question of, okay. How do I start? Where do I train as a coach? And then clarifying my niche and clarifying where is my sweet spot? What's my genius? What's the next level of my creative process? It's a very dynamic process that once you have the intention to align, then you are gonna get plenty of contrast to see what is really your sweet [00:10:00] spot and what is not.
Claire Hayek: So what is the first step as a leader that is thriving professionally, but disconnected personally? What would be the first step in your opinion? Uh, where, where does somebody's listening right now and going, oh my God, that's totally me. I feel disconnected. I love what I do, but not, I'm not that passionate about it.
I don't want to do this for the rest of my life. I am ready for a change. How do we make that shift?
Gabriela Embon: Where do we start? The first step is clarify what is that you want? Okay. And, and that means working with either doing it yourself or working with a profession that helps you go through that search. And I'm not.
I am not a big fan of, okay, what are your strengths and weaknesses? This is not about it. It's not
Claire Hayek: cliche, you know? Yeah. We're done. Definitely. '
Gabriela Embon: cause we're looking for fulfillment is at the soul level. It's a soul learning. It's a soul searching process. It's not about your strengths and weaknesses.
Um, so [00:11:00] working with somebody who can help you clarify those three components, passion, meaning, and unique ability. And how you translate that into an ideal career. Okay. Passion, meaning, and you. Unique ability. Unique ability. Yes. Your genius. What is that sweet spot? So once you clarify that and you can say, okay, it feels like this is what I would love to do, let's put it to the test, let's do a pilot big on pilots.
So first is the clarity of what you want. You need to take some time to clarify because clarity is a very strong force.
Claire Hayek: And then.
Gabriela Embon: Don't marry authority. Put it to the test. Do a pilot, take a a short course. Test it, uh, shadow somebody. And also for the most part, it's not about transitioning, overnight.
There's a, you have to take your, you have to choose with your habit. You have to take your brain with you, right? So once you get clear about the what first, get clear about the what now engage with your brain and say, okay, how do I do this? What's the right [00:12:00] and the most? Convenient way for my circumstances because I might be responsible for my family.
So what's the best course of action to transition and start building an alternative? What happens many times is as we start building that alternative, we start enjoying what we're doing more interesting. How do you explain that?
Claire Hayek: How do you explain that?
Gabriela Embon: Um, because we not, we, we know it is not gonna be forever, so we don't feel trapped, but we also become grateful for whatever I'm doing right now because it's allowing me to transition.
It's giving me the financial security that I need until I am fully in the second phase. So it becomes an asset, not a liability anymore.
Claire Hayek: I guess also if we, if we zoom in on the brain, when you're doing that, you're doing something you're passionate about that you really love, you're sending 'em dopamine you, you know, in, in, in your brain.
And, and obviously dopamine, dopamine, the feel [00:13:00] good kind of, you know, satisfied um, hormone. And so now we're, it's, that's helping the motivation in a way, right? That's right. Because That's right. Dopamine is motivation. So motivate you to keep going. Yet you are taking, taking out the stress of what's happening in that boring side of things that you don't wanna do anymore because you don't feel, like you said trapped.
So you feel a bit more safe. Now you have two things going on. You have the safety so you're not in survival mode, you know, financial, maybe safety as you build this amazing thing that you're passionate about. That's right. That's great.
Gabriela Embon: So that's one side. I think it's so important that we don't compromise, and also to also believe, but truly believe that it's never too late.
Whether you're transitioning at the age of 50 60, it's never too late to realign with your career, right? Yep. And, and some careers actually the more mature you are, [00:14:00] the better. For example, in coaching, right? It comes with age too. It gives you extra credibility. So it's never too late for you to look at what's the next stage of fulfillment for you and impact and the way you're here to serve next.
So that's one thing. The other thing that I believe is we shouldn't compromise on our relationship, but I don't mean you need to ditch your relationship. What I mean by that is that you, you need to. Invest in it. You need to give it priority and commit to make it richer and better with time and just show up.
Same as you show up in your career and you do career development. Relationships also need development, and they need you to show up even on days you don't feel like it. That's the whole concept of commitment and code. Correct. And repair. Be fully in.
Claire Hayek: That's it, right? I mean, it's, it's all about [00:15:00] that commitment.
And I think that's a great keyword. Again, another one. But what about this whole myth? Tell me a little bit about the myth of work-life balance. So what, what do you mean when you say balance is a trap?
Gabriela Embon: Because balance, um, lives in the world of duality.
Okay. It means I have to juggle two things and compromise one for the other.
And we have, you know, we have different uh, myths of balance, like balance between. Uh, myself and my children, you know, spouse and family. Family and career, and the reason that I, I, I believe it's a myth, is because somebody's gonna is gonna lose, right? Mm-hmm. Rather than seeking balance, we are seeking integration.
And integration is when you actually see all parts of your life as, not as competing forces, but [00:16:00] different parts of one mission. So you might be, so here's how it works in practical terms. It's about implementing the right rituals that guarantee that you stay connected with your spouse. So here's how it will look like.
You had a long day at work, it needed your attention, and you came home at 10:00 PM.
Okay. And you come home at 10:00 PM you have two options. You can just. Grab a beer, a glass of wine, say, I ha I don't want to see anybody. I don't wanna talk to anybody. And sh, shut down your spouse. Or you can come home and tell your spouse, come sit next to me.
I'll tell you what happened today. Right now, your spouse became part of your life now. They might either hold space for you, listen to you, or even offer some insight. You are integrating your spouse. So work doesn't become [00:17:00] an all alibi. That's how you say. Yeah. It doesn't become an alibi, right?
That you, you, you use, it's actually, you integrate it in your together life. So your success is my success, and I wanna be part of that. You see, this is what we all want. We wanna feel that we belong, but by separating the two, we actually create this connection. But if you came home and you share with me your day or you take some time to unwind and then we sit and we just spend some quality time together, then you won't feel like you have to balance and some one part is being compromised.
It's also about and that's. It's about rituals. It's about the small rituals that we do. We don't create a bond of trust by doing brand, brand use things. Yep. We do it in the small things. The little things. Yeah. [00:18:00] Little things and the little things that make the other one feel part of your life.
Seen. Heard. So am I. Am I giving you a kiss in the morning and a hug before I rush? I might need to rush early, but am I giving you a kiss? Am I making you a tea when I make myself a tea?
Am I saying no matter what, we have a weekly date where we date each other again. So it is in those connection rituals that we feel we can create more because we fuel each other.
We become each other's source of strength and not stress. But if we are creating this connection, we're gonna become each other's source of stress because somebody's gonna be frustrated. Yeah. And then we show up at the world fragmented, not whole.
Claire Hayek: I listened to you talk about this and the integration and, um, it's not basically two separate systems.
It's one system. And, uh, I often talk about the heart brain coherence. And this is literally heart, brain, body working together. [00:19:00] So if you show up as your whole self, in your heart, in your body, in your brain, in front of your. Spouse or partner or whoever. Then you're, you're not separating this the side of you.
And this is really when you're aligned and, and I'm, I'm using your keywords here. I love that. Your people love you and they're interested in learning what's happening, maybe about your struggles, your stress, et cetera. Just take a minute, take 60 seconds, breathe.
You know, take a deep breath and focus on your heart. Focus on your heart. Realign your heart with your brain, and you do it literally by just placing your hand on your heart. And breathing through your heart. Inhale for seconds. Exhale six seconds. Do that for 60 seconds for a minute, and feel the gratitude in your heart that, you know, I'm alive.
I have a meal. Uh, today I had water. Uh, I have a bed I can go to. I have people in my life that love me. Whatever it is, it doesn't have to be a big thing. And that, that activates basically the vagus nerve which calms the [00:20:00] stress response. Brings you back to your, uh, prefrontal cortex and so you're thinking clear, you're more open.
And um, it's actually something that I teach in my masterclass and I'll talk about it a bit later. You have a QR code here. You can, you can scan it until, you know, so we can continue with the podcast. If you wanna learn more, um, scan it. There's definitely more information on this. It's that simple. But the thing that, that really is important, Gabriela, I am so grateful people like you out there doing this, and this is the reason why I do it as well.
We need help. We all need help. Uh, even when you're teaching this, sometimes, you know, you need kind of a coach to read your label. Label. We can't read our own label. So you can, you can apply what you teach, you can apply your, your wisdom to yourself, but it really helps to have these tools, these practical tools, in order to get out of our stress zone and into our heart, into that coherence and that alignment.
Absolutely. And for, for [00:21:00] anyone listening who's realizing this might be their blind spot, that, you know, they're probably taking this for granted and they're maybe not that aligned and they're shutting people their loved ones and their kids maybe even as well. So what is the first step to shifting it?
Maybe the smallest little step that they can do besides maybe hiring a coach or seeking help. That they can do right after this episode. I really love those kind of like, I can do this right now so that I feel that that gives hope. And you're like, wow, I'm in control. I can actually change my habit and try this.
And then that gives you enough motivation to maybe seek help and actually take it seriously because you see the results right away.
Gabriela Embon: So what do you, what would you say? So, I'm, I'm gonna give a few alternatives because I think when it comes to relationships, people are in, in, so in different places.
For those of you who feel comfortable the biggest step is greet [00:22:00] your spouse in the morning. Uh, start your day with a hug and a kiss. Mm-hmm. If you wake up at the same time, cuddle in bed. If not, whenever you wake up and you meet your spouse, give each other a hug or a kiss. So that's, if you start your day that way, you are gonna see what it does to your nervous system, to your vagus nerve.
It's absolutely incredible. And that physical connection creates emotional connection. So that's number one. Number another ritual that people can do is make sure that if somebody leaves home first, if one of the spouses leave first, go to the door and say, have a good day, and give them a kiss.
Okay. And then whoever comes home first, greet the other person when they come home.
Claire Hayek: I love that
Gabriela Embon: this makes you feel, and I do that with my children too, right? This makes you feel wanted, welcomed, that you have a home. I think this is the, the, the, it's all about creating a home, not just having a house creating.
[00:23:00] Mm-hmm. So. Say goodbye. Have a good day, and say hello. We have a ritual. I say goodbye to my children in the morning with my dog, with my Golden. We have to go to the door no matter how cold it is, and the dog is gonna stay there until they leave. And then she turns and comes back in. So the ritual, ritual, give rituals, give meaning to to our relationships.
And if you wanna take this one step further, have a, a conversation with your spouse and don't be afraid to ask the most powerful question because realize you might not be the root cause and ask, are you happy? Mm. People ask always. Are you happy? I wanna say, is your spouse happy? So ask your spouse, are you happy?
And if your spouse says no. Or I'm not sure. Please realize you might not be the cause. It's probably not. Ask, [00:24:00] what do you need to be happy? How can I love you better? What can I do for you? How can I help you? Why not? Yeah. So start with communicating. I love the three C's. Communication leads to collaboration, which leads to co, leads to coordination.
That leads to coordination. Collaboration. So communication, coordination, collaboration, but it all starts with the communication with the deeper questions. Not how do you feel? What are you thinking? Are you happy? Yeah. I don't see a person that will ignore that question.
Claire Hayek: Hmm.
Gabriela Embon: Like if you feel disconnected from your spouse, ask, are you happy?
I wanna know, I wanna in, I wanna be, wanna get a glimpse into your world.
Claire Hayek: Thank you so much, Gabriela. That's, uh, these are gold nuggets. Uh, I hope you, our listeners are writing this down. This is really simple stuff and anybody could do it, you know, without any excuse. It's just simple.
All it [00:25:00] takes is courage sometimes because maybe sometimes we're not used to it. But, the way we rewire our brain is through emotion and, um, combined with repetition. So this is what creates connection and, and strengthens those neural pathways for empathy, for love, for resilience.
And these are core leadership skills. By the way. This what, what you're fostering and building at home is gonna reciprocate also at work. Uh, I'm loving this conversation but we're running out of time. I definitely wanna go through our rapid fire. Questions. Are you ready? I have three questions for you.
Short answers and, uh, on your go. You're good? Yeah. All right. One lesson about leadership. You wish every high performer understood.
Gabriela Embon: Your personal relationship doesn't compete with your career. It fuels your career.
Claire Hayek: Love it. Second one, one daily ritual. You never skip.
Gabriela Embon: Giving my husband a hug and a kiss in the morning.
Claire Hayek: Yay. I love [00:26:00] that. Last one, a book, a podcast or a conference that rewired how you lead or, or, or one of those that you love, simply Love and that you would recommend to artists.
Gabriela Embon: I love the book. I, I bought two of these, uh, the Surrender Experiment, a Michael Singer.
Claire Hayek: Oh, nice. Nice. So take note of this.
Again, these are gold nuggets. Thanks so much, Gabriela. If this episode hit home. Join the Mental Fitness Masterclass for brain-based tools to get you to think a more clear step into your power and for real connection and coherence between the brain, the heart, and the gut, and your body. Basically, you can see there's this QR code, you can scan it.
If you want more information, please do reach out. It's pretty much detailed on the landing page. I would love for you to subscribe and follow this podcast if this episode. Helped you at all. And also do share, you know, a lot of us sometimes if this served you and helped you, please do share with somebody that you know and love and care for that needs to [00:27:00] hear this because this is why we do what we do.
And I'm talking about you and Mela. I know that. Just sharing that ripple effect is what we are going for. We're going for that impact. If you are listening to the podcast. Please do check the description. I always leave a link. Look for the link tree link. All my socials are there. Do connect on LinkedIn, do connect with Gabriela as well, and reach out.
Let us know what you think. We always love to hear from our listeners. So finally, I mean, you know, um, I can't believe we're, we're, we're up to, you know, to, to the wrap up here. But last quick words before we wrap this up. Gabriela, anything you wanna share? Where do we find you, what you would like to share with our listeners?
Gabriela Embon: I would say you can have both. Uh, you can win at home and at work you can if you are willing to commit. So that's my last message and people can find me on [00:28:00] LinkedIn, Gabriela Amon, or my website, gabriela amon.com. And they can also download the prologue of the book, becoming a Power Couple for pillars to engineer the legendary marriage, and also find it on Amazon.
Claire Hayek: Definitely. We'll put the link in the description for, for our listeners and followers to find it. Everyone lead boldly, stay human and turn every challenge into a gift. Thank you so much, Gabriela. Thank you guys
Gabriela Embon: for having me.
Claire Hayek: Thank you and see you all next week. Bye for now.